Choose to be Happy

I just finished reading The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews and thought it was just okay (Sorry to those in my bookclub who loved it.). A little cheesy. Reminded me somewhat of The One Minute Manager. BUT, I did like a few of the ideas.

Today, I choose to be happy.

If you ask my husband, choosing to be happy is no small task for me. Have you seen A Bug's Life? You know the part where the obstacle falls in front of an ant who was in a line and he freaks out? That's me in a nutshell. Little things come along that throw me way off course and trigger a meltdown--FAR too often. So,

Today, I choose to be happy.

Last night, I couldn't fall asleep in bed, a perfect opportunity to do my usual thing, and get all worked up, but I chose instead to be happy about the peace and quiet in the house, something that I have a hard time finding. Because I couldn't sleep, I found silence.

Today, I choose to by happy...

...when my daughter wakes up sick and vomiting. Since I couldn't make it to the gym I had extra time to unclog the shower. I choose to be happy about the globs of slimy hair that make me gag as I pull them out of the tub drain. (Is that taking it a tad too far?)

Let Go

This has been a stressful week. Sometimes I try to force things or guarantee a specific outcome. Then life gets off-plan, and the only outcome I'm guaranteed is panic and anxiety. So, I came up with a new mantra for myself:

Let go and flow with life.

It's good to have a plan (I love planning--spreadsheets, lists, lists of lists--the works!), but it's equally important to be flexible. The trees that don't learn to bend snap when the strong winds come. (If you hear a *snap* in a day or two, that could be me...)

Help! I'm having a stroke!

Last night I panicked.



9:30am - Went to a step aerobics class for 1 hour, followed by a power yoga class for an hour. That kicked my butt. I was pretty much useless the rest of the day.



3pm - checked reviews online for a migraine medication I was just prescribed. Lots of complaints of weight gain (one lady gained 20 lbs in 8 weeks!) and depression. Nice. Just what I need.



8pm - feeling exhausted. trying to get my 2-year-old to stay in bed. start imagining myself on this new rx: fat and depressed.



8:30pm - remembered what my sister (an RN) told me about a 32-year-old mother of 3 who went to the chiropractor and ended up with a fatal stroke a few hours later. Crap. I have just had 3 visits to the chiropractor.



8:40pm - I think I'm seeing double, and my head hurts. Maybe I'm having a stroke because of the chiropractor. (I probably have a brain tumor, too....I always go there.)



8:45pm - panic starts: heart races, stomach knots up, feel nauseous, the world is caving in upon me. This time I decide to feel the fear instead of repress it or ignore it. Not sure it did much good.



9:00pm - talk to my husband about it. He responds with, "I'm sorry you're feeling this way," which is verbatim what I asked him to say to me when I vent.



9:05pm - we say a prayer together and ask God to help me calm down. I try to think of the goods things in life--pedicures, shopping, you know.



9:10pm - then my husband plays with my hair while he reads and I go to sleep.



sometime during the middle of the night - I have a nightmare about a horrible public appearance where I'm not prepared.



7:00am - I wake up refreshed and feeling better. Today was a better day.



No stroke. No brain tumor....at least for now.

Stage Fright

Every time I sit down to create a post for this blog, I go blank.



I have so many thoughts and ideas to add, but then I sit down at the computer and nothing comes.



Maybe I'm afraid to let people see too much of the real me. I've worked hard to create my facade...

Cabin Fever

I have a crazy case of cabin fever. My 8-year-old son has had a high fever all week, so I have been holed up in my house. I want to run away somewhere--anywhere!

Today I asked myself, "Why am I so determined to go away?"

My answer came after a few minutes of sitting with myself.

The dust bunnies under my furniture mock me. "You're failing at housekeeping!" they shout. Closely related to the dust bunnies are the layers of dust on the floorboards. They chant, "You suck! You suck!" The disheveled piles in my laundry room cabinets hiss, "You should just give up...." Everywhere I turn in my house, I see my failures.

Yet I don't have the energy or motivation to do anything to shut them up or get rid of them! I have spent most of the week nursing my son, and the rest of it plugging my ears to keep out the drone of my failures, repeating to myself, "I'm not listening. I'm not listening."

I figure I have two choices: 1) Run! (Of course, that would leave a sick child and two preschoolers unsupervised...probably not too wise.)...Or... 2) Change how I view these supposed "failures."

Option 2 requires some effort, but I think I can do it. What if my "failures" become opportunities instead? Recently, I decided to set aside Wednesdays to work on projects (the rest of my chores are scheduled for other days). Every time I see a failure, I can add it to my list of potential projects (I love lists!!), a proper place for them to reside.

So far my list contains "Dust under furniture," "Dust floorboards," and "Organize laundry room cabinets." I'm sure I will have a nice long list before long. Then when project day comes around, I will have plenty of choices.

Once the mocking, shouting, chanting, and hissing stops, I can remember the joy and peace that my home contributes to my life, and I won't want to leave.

Wash Cloth for Telephone Space Around Toddlers

Why is it that the moment I get on the phone, all of a sudden all 5 of my children have urgent needs??!! Five seconds earlier they were zombies in front of the television. They must have some kind of radar.

I found this tip on thriftyfun.com:

"To get space from my toddlers when I am on the phone, I sit with a wet facecloth and wipe their faces whenever they come near me. Now I can chat without them being right in my space."

By Mrs. Burgo from Newcastle, NSW

Try it out....Then let's compare notes.

Why She Loves Being a Mom

Read this post...

Here's a thought about...Disappointment

When you do your best, you may still experience disappointments, but you will not be disappointed in yourself.

Be Willing

Monday's Mantra:

"I am willing...to feel, to know, to love, and to expand."

(Kasl, 4)

Quick Tip for Tuesday: Come Clean

"Already took a shower this morning? No matter. Take ten minutes and jump in again. The crashing flow of water can be uplifting and calming." (Parenting, Jul 2009)

Mantra for Monday: Healing

"Heal my broken places; fill my empty spaces."

From my friend, Kimberlee.

Quick Tip for Tuesday: Free Yourself

Do something free-spirited!

Ideas:

• "get all American Idol....the simple act of belting out a tune can boost your mood." (Parenting Jul 2009)
• play leap frog with your child
• run like Phoebe and Rachel
• do cartwheels home from your child's bus stop (I used to do cartwheels all the way to kindergarten--it's time I tried it again).

Mantra for Monday: Aug. 17, 2009

There is no fear in love.

1 Jn. 4: 18

Mantra for Monday

This moment is what it is, and I can relax.

Quick Tip for Tuesday: Hang with the Happy

"Emotions are contagious, so make an effort to spend time with people who are upbeat." (Parenting, Jul 2009)

Be Present

I have received many “compliments” about how well I multi-task.

My husband: “You are a pro at multi-tasking.”

My mother: “Becky, you get more done than anyone I know.”

Friend: “How do you do it all?”

Since I don’t get a report card full of A’s anymore, I considered these compliments to be evidence of a stellar report card as a woman. I have been known to breast-feed, research the latest political issues online, cook dinner, quiz my son on spelling words, and do squats all at the same time.

Where did this amazing ability get me? Let's see...chronic neck tension, difficulty breathing brought on by hyperventilation, totally stressed out, and on anti-anxiety medication.

My self-analysis has revealed a probable evolution from point A (Doing it All) to point B (On Meds)

Step 1: Task x is not getting done (eg, dusting the baseboards).

Step 2: Me: "I can squeeze it in between making breakfast/getting kids off to school and going to the gym."

Step 3: Me (while dusting): "As soon as I get this section dusted, I need to race to get my workout clothes on, race to get the children dressed, jump in the car, speed to the gym so I’m not late for my class. Then after the gym I have to shower, feed the children, update my website, work on PTA stuff, start planning dinner, look over the older kids’ homework…"

Step 4: "This dusting is taking too long. I’m going to be late for the gym!"

Step 5: "Dust faster! Dust faster!"

Step 6: "Finally done! I hate weeding. Ugh!"

Step 7: "Shoot! That took too long. Now I’m going to be late for the gym, and I won’t get my favorite spot in class. Hurry!"

But there’s a better way!

Take one thing at a time, and stay in the moment....Be present.

My list of potential tasks to complete in a day contains a billion things, but I don’t have to do all of them right now. The truth is, how many of them really HAVE to be completed? Do I really need to dust the tops of the curtain rods every day? Do I really need to clean the lint out of my purse daily? Is it that important that my computer files get organized weekly?

How I stay present:

Step 1: Choose the task that is most important.

Step 2: Focus on it. Do it carefully and fully. Don’t let my mind wander to the next task waiting in line.

Step 3: Think on what I enjoy about the task.

Step 4: If there's not enough time to complete the entire task, don't try to finish it. It's okay to stop and finish later (this is the hardest part for me to do).

Step 5: Stop for a moment and observe my work to feel a sense of accomplishment.

Result: I do a better job, enjoy it more, and have mental, physical, and spiritual resources left to complete the next task.

Today's lesson:

BE PRESENT.

Breathe In Four, Hold Seven, Breathe Out Eight

Oftentimes, I feel like I can't take a deep breath. It's the first indicator to me that I'm not coping with stress appropriately. I learned a quick remedy--not from a doctor or therapist--from Prevention magazine. It goes like this:

Breathe in for 4 counts.

Hold your breath for 7 counts.

Breathe out slowly for 8 counts.

Usually 3 or 4 times through the process returns my breathing back to normal. Then I can think clearly enough to figure out how to handle the current stressor better.

Try it.

The Allegory of the Bike Ride

On an unusually pleasant summer evening, our family decided to ride our bikes to the local grocery store for some ice cream. The hills along the two-mile journey undulate persistently.

My daughter (then 5 years old), excited on the way there, had a terrible time riding her bike up each hill on the way home. She cried and complained, occasionally climbing off her bike in protest, exclaiming "I can't do it!" I stayed with her while the others went on ahead. I encouraged her ("You're muscles are getting stronger!" "Look, we're almost to the top.") and gave her and her bike a little push every so often. When we finally completed the arduous ride home, she was tired, but quickly forgot her travails when she saw the ice cream awaiting her on the table.

This story has become my personal allegory. Often in life I start to climb a hill, but when the incline steepens, I want to give up. I close down, turn inward, and shout, "I can't do it!"

The fall of 2003 presented me with an especially steep hill, one I thought would finish me off. I had accomplished the goals I had set as a teenager (educated and married with children), but I couldn't find inner peace and happiness. Life seemed on the verge of crushing me.

That experience triggered a pursuit of inner peace and balance.

Like my daughter, I have received encouragement and gentle pushes up the hills. I have discovered methods to make it over the hills and back home. Some of these methods have come from medical professionals, others from spiritual teachers, and others from my own research--from yoga to meditation and stress management to gratitude, always with a measure of humor.

While I don't claim to be an expert or a replacement for a licensed professional, I want to share with you what has helped me.