Help! I'm having a stroke!

Last night I panicked.



9:30am - Went to a step aerobics class for 1 hour, followed by a power yoga class for an hour. That kicked my butt. I was pretty much useless the rest of the day.



3pm - checked reviews online for a migraine medication I was just prescribed. Lots of complaints of weight gain (one lady gained 20 lbs in 8 weeks!) and depression. Nice. Just what I need.



8pm - feeling exhausted. trying to get my 2-year-old to stay in bed. start imagining myself on this new rx: fat and depressed.



8:30pm - remembered what my sister (an RN) told me about a 32-year-old mother of 3 who went to the chiropractor and ended up with a fatal stroke a few hours later. Crap. I have just had 3 visits to the chiropractor.



8:40pm - I think I'm seeing double, and my head hurts. Maybe I'm having a stroke because of the chiropractor. (I probably have a brain tumor, too....I always go there.)



8:45pm - panic starts: heart races, stomach knots up, feel nauseous, the world is caving in upon me. This time I decide to feel the fear instead of repress it or ignore it. Not sure it did much good.



9:00pm - talk to my husband about it. He responds with, "I'm sorry you're feeling this way," which is verbatim what I asked him to say to me when I vent.



9:05pm - we say a prayer together and ask God to help me calm down. I try to think of the goods things in life--pedicures, shopping, you know.



9:10pm - then my husband plays with my hair while he reads and I go to sleep.



sometime during the middle of the night - I have a nightmare about a horrible public appearance where I'm not prepared.



7:00am - I wake up refreshed and feeling better. Today was a better day.



No stroke. No brain tumor....at least for now.

Stage Fright

Every time I sit down to create a post for this blog, I go blank.



I have so many thoughts and ideas to add, but then I sit down at the computer and nothing comes.



Maybe I'm afraid to let people see too much of the real me. I've worked hard to create my facade...

Cabin Fever

I have a crazy case of cabin fever. My 8-year-old son has had a high fever all week, so I have been holed up in my house. I want to run away somewhere--anywhere!

Today I asked myself, "Why am I so determined to go away?"

My answer came after a few minutes of sitting with myself.

The dust bunnies under my furniture mock me. "You're failing at housekeeping!" they shout. Closely related to the dust bunnies are the layers of dust on the floorboards. They chant, "You suck! You suck!" The disheveled piles in my laundry room cabinets hiss, "You should just give up...." Everywhere I turn in my house, I see my failures.

Yet I don't have the energy or motivation to do anything to shut them up or get rid of them! I have spent most of the week nursing my son, and the rest of it plugging my ears to keep out the drone of my failures, repeating to myself, "I'm not listening. I'm not listening."

I figure I have two choices: 1) Run! (Of course, that would leave a sick child and two preschoolers unsupervised...probably not too wise.)...Or... 2) Change how I view these supposed "failures."

Option 2 requires some effort, but I think I can do it. What if my "failures" become opportunities instead? Recently, I decided to set aside Wednesdays to work on projects (the rest of my chores are scheduled for other days). Every time I see a failure, I can add it to my list of potential projects (I love lists!!), a proper place for them to reside.

So far my list contains "Dust under furniture," "Dust floorboards," and "Organize laundry room cabinets." I'm sure I will have a nice long list before long. Then when project day comes around, I will have plenty of choices.

Once the mocking, shouting, chanting, and hissing stops, I can remember the joy and peace that my home contributes to my life, and I won't want to leave.

Wash Cloth for Telephone Space Around Toddlers

Why is it that the moment I get on the phone, all of a sudden all 5 of my children have urgent needs??!! Five seconds earlier they were zombies in front of the television. They must have some kind of radar.

I found this tip on thriftyfun.com:

"To get space from my toddlers when I am on the phone, I sit with a wet facecloth and wipe their faces whenever they come near me. Now I can chat without them being right in my space."

By Mrs. Burgo from Newcastle, NSW

Try it out....Then let's compare notes.

Why She Loves Being a Mom

Read this post...

Here's a thought about...Disappointment

When you do your best, you may still experience disappointments, but you will not be disappointed in yourself.